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Why do we feel lost sometimes?
When we are faced with a situation that is unfamiliar we most likely will experience some challenges. Often what this means is there will be some trial and error. Maybe you are learning about how to be in your first romantic relationship, business partnership, or how to start managing your finances.
It’s a healthy and natural at times to feel like we don’t know exactly where to go! After all any time we start something new their will always be a learning curve and this represents the presence of growth.
That being said, the real challenges will appear in the initial phases of our journey when misfortune is present and expectations aren’t hit.
In the face of these problems, Our goal is to endure and overcome these hurdles as effectively and efficiently as possible… but how?
How can we navigate life more simply?… Getting a guide!
Their is nothing wrong with going the road alone. Sometimes maybe it will be the best option for you. But at some point surely some guidance will be very necessary. Why?
Well no matter what, it is impossible for us to know every situation out there. And while we can figure it out on our own, we may as well learn life’s lessons without having to endure unnecessary pain (while not avoiding it).
The truth is, you can still build all the strength and resilience necessary to prosper on your path while being guided by a peer you can trust.
Ideally such a person is someone who’s been there and done that so they can help you make sure your digging in the right area for your gold!
How did Nick (our guest) find a mentor? How did he help him overcome BIG obstacles?
Nick Bensen never could have seen himself living the life he is today when he was younger. Having discipline, great finances, a loving marriage, vibrant health, an amazing career, dedicated social causes, and a fun exciting life (ALL before his 30th birthday) may have seemed like a pipe dream back in the day. However currently he is living this dream as his reality!
This would not have been possible without the help of his mentor. From learning how to cope with the loss of his Mom, to having a marriage that is virtually debt free, and even learning how to communicate in business and relationship settings… Nick attributes lot’s of his early success from the guidance of his mentors.
Below are Nick tips from our 9th episode all about how to find a mentor & partner with them to build resilience:
1) Find what you want in life first – last episode Reggie Waterman shared his “Time Matrix” to help you establish your talents and desired future. Once you have some clarity keep this as a guide to help you keep your eyes open for potential candidates who may be an asset on your journey. They may be in the home or on social media or anywhere within or outside your bubble.
2) Find the right one. Observe them. Interact. Be patient. Build slowly. – Look for someone that has the life you want to live. Do they have the fruit on the tree that you want to be able to grow yourself? Do they have the results in life that you want? Are they open and honest and seem willing to help?
If they give you answers you don’t like don’t feel you have to keep following them (stay true to you, your principles, and boundaries). If they also aren’t willing to share key results and how they got there maybe the are not the transparent person you should be looking for and working with!
This process can take time. Be patient by building a relationship slowly. Ask them to mentor you once the time is right.
3) Ask your mentor for perspectives and actionable tips around your areas of focus – Nick had some core areas of focus like finances, marriage, communication, and general perspectives. So he made sure that once he felt he can trust his mentor… he told him things he wouldn’t tell just anyone. That vulnerability and open communication is where Nick felt his success came from.
Once he established this two way communication channel of trust and respect he found his life changed for the better at much faster rates too.
4) Embrace the struggle and the action needed – though you may not always like what your mentor will have to say, it doesn’t mean they are wrong. For example, when Nicks Mom passed right before Covid, his mentor told him, “this situation is not unique to you, people have gone through the same thing or much much worse”.
While he didn’t see it at the time his mentor taught him a valuable lesson that everything happens for a reason, and Nick eventually through spirituality and reflection found that his Mentor was right.
Today he shares this story openly and stands on top of that challenging time with understanding, growth, and strength. He attributes much of this to his mentors guidance.
5) Make sure you maintain the synergy, intensity, and connection over time – if you don’t make the effort to reach new milestones, share growth, and connect on a personal level at regular intervals you risk loosing momentum. This can result in your mentor putting you on the back burner and not taking you seriously.
Most likely the Mentors you will find will be very busy so if they begin to make time take ownership. Be engaged on a consistent basis.
That being said it should be a two way street but remember you wanted to be guided in the first place, not the other way around.
6) Early on in the relationship and throughout make sure your relationship is in good standing – make sure over time that you do not blindly follow someone. People change over time. They may be competent in some areas but it doesn’t mean they always will give the best advice or have pure intentions.
There is a level of surrender that you need when being guided by someone who is an expert in an area you may know little about. HOWEVER, make sure you know your boundaries and principles so you can sense when the relationship may not be right for you anymore.
***Combine these tips together – when you pair some or all of these together your benefits compound**
Nick Bensen
The Guided Samurai Who's Conquering Life
Nick has made a many big changes in his life. Had he not… he would be in debt, have loose principles, have challenges managing relationships, and wouldn’t be involved in the community like he is today.
With the help of his mentor (and his determination and willingness to take action), before the age of 30 Nick has the wife of his dreams, a career he is happy in, a virtually debt free life, and true purpose.
Not only that but the hardships he faced, though tough, he cut through like butter eventually. Much of this he attributes to mentorship.
Reach out to Nick over LinkedIn if you want to learn more about his journey and ask questions!