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Why do people aim to be comfortable?
Often we may find people whom have the goal of working really hard so they can finally live a fully “comfortable” life at some point. The big house, the picket fence, the pool, and of course no more work. This fantasy wouldn’t be complete without a pile of money.
Ahhh comfort. All our needs met. Why is this the end goal though? Well, because there is this perception that our life is uncomfortable when there is to much added uncertainty. As humans uncertainty is also tied to fear, so we aim to have as predictable circumstances as possible to avoid having to worry about the unexpected.
But at what cost?
What are the benefits of being uncomfortable?
When we aim to be comfortable sure we have less anxieties, fears, and unexpected things occurring. But these aren’t necessarily symptoms of something bad! These are signs that new opportunity exists. When we begin to feel uncomfortable we keep our eyes ahead on the road and engage with our surroundings. We are being forced to evolve and grow.
We become innovative and problem solve. We meet new people and see new place. Try new hobbies. We shoot that game winning shot in different areas in our life like Kobe Bryant did so many times before.
What would of transpired of Kobe’s legacy if he was even a small fraction more comfortable? Would he have written those best selling children’s books after his retirement?
How can we JUST GO FOR IT… slowly?
Chris Haskell (self proclaimed extrovert) came over to Empowered Life Hacks to talk about this topic. He shared that he is naturally inclined to put himself out there to try new things and interact with people. This kind of stuff is easy for him.
BUT because of that he understand for some taking risks socially and getting out of your comfort zone is not fun and may never really feel good for you. If you are one of these people no sweat. Chris is passionate about making sure you can get the benefits of trying new things and being uncomfortable so he made sure to share tips for people that want to break out of their bubble but are stagnant or scared!
Here are his tips from episode 5 of our talk series:
1) If you are new somewhere, start spontaneous conversations: People almost always say yes if you ask to talk to people if you are new! The beautiful thing is no agenda is needed before the conversation. These conversations will give you confidence in your ability to get out of your shell but also you will learn a lot in the process.
For example, if you are new to a neighborhood you will learn about the best places to shop, if you are new to the school you will learn about the best classes to take. Lastly, if you are new to an organization you will learn about the real job you have to do and how work is really done, not just what’s in that written job description!
2) Know your limits and make very light and tiny goals to overcome particular areas of discomfort: For example, if you are having trouble meeting new people and are feeling lonely but find being alone in your room the most comfortable thing to do for yourself… why not make your first goal to join a recreational sports league?
Don’t feel pressure to talk to anyone to much or hang around after the first game, just attending one game is a win! Maybe make a follow up goal to hang out with people after once you have your 3rd game. Maybe make another goal that at your 7th game you’ll finally go out to the weekly dinner gathering.
Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps is the answer!
3) Celebrate little wins: We hear this tip again and again on this show. Whatever seemingly minuscule gains you realize celebrate the crap out of them! This will will help make it easier and easier to stretch into uncharted territory.
4) Use a friend or someone you can trust to establish goals and share successes: Having someone you can trust help assess the best path for you forward can help you makes sure you don’t push yourself to hard and end up taking no steps forward. Also having a good friend to share your successes with will help encourage you and affirm your growth!
5)Adopt a purpose or “why” in your life behind why you are doing these new activities: For example, Chris suggested to adopt a mindset and purpose behind wanting to have a more fruitful, entertaining, interesting, and less regretful life! You’ll have better stories and more fun experiences if you focus on building in areas you are uncomfortable in and on growth… no matter how big or small the steps you take.
***Combine these tips together – when you pair some or all of these together it compounds***
Chris Haskell
The Sage of Building New Experiences
Though Chris is a self-proclaimed extrovert to the core, he made a noble goal for himself to help guide others who are not so inclined (even scared) to just go out there and go after new opportunities or meet new people.
Given his success in helping people slowly divert from there day in and day out “comfortable” habits, he decided to come in and talk about a subject he’s passionate about! Which is… just getting out there and going for it. Slowly and patiently but steadily!